i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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