Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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