I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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