I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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