it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
