I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
