Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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