i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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