Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
