There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
