I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
