Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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