Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
