i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
