this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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