I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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