At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
