You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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