Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
