Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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