At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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