it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
