The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
