he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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