No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
