Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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