he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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