possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
