i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
