ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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