Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
