You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
