It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
