I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
