Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
