That's intense
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
