I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
