My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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