whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
