You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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