I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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