Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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