So drunk, too bad you don't want this
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
