we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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