I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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