did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
