I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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