Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
