Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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