I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
