I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
