Do you still have your period?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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